Chapter Seventy

By Chris Fulmer

"Mom, Mom, wake up, Santa's coming!" a poor inner city boy jumped on his mother's bed and shook her to wake her up.

"Brandon honey, it's just your imagination," she told him sleepily, "Let Mommy sleep, please."

"But he really is, come look!" the boy dragged her out of bed and to the window.

"All right what is.....?" she started to say, but her eyes flew wide open as she saw what was coming up the street. "What in the world...!?" she gasped.

"Come on!" her son now pulled her down the stairs of their meager apartment and out into the street, where numerous other families living below the poverty line had gathered in amazement at the wild parade coming up their otherwise abysmal street. Led by the hundred or so police cars carrying the arrested, it was like nothing any of them had ever seen before. Particularly the robotic Walley characters and almost human Christmas toys marching between the floats. And most of all, that jolly old elf himself, perched high upon his sleigh on top of the last float. "Ho ho ho, merry Christmas to all!" he was shouting, waving to everyone as he slapped the reins, not aware that the walls in the neighborhood were shaking from a seventy-decibel level playing of Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" from the float sound speakers. "Ready with the presents, guys?" he asked everyone else on the float.

"I'm always ready, Santa Russell," Del called up to him.

"Then let's give these people what they wanted all years round," Buck said, giving the go ahead signal to everyone on the floats in front of him. He watched as Everyone on his float withdrew presents one at a time and tossed them out into the mass of people before them. The rapid grabbing for gifts told them they'd done their job right.

"A very merry Christmas," Ferris was singing as he tossed out handfuls of cash on the Candy Shoppe float just in front of the Santa float, oblivious to the song that was actually being played, "And a happy new year, let's hope it's a good one, with any tears. So this is Christmas......"

"Don't you think you're off just a few notes there," Andie told him, but she was smiling at him. "Duckie told me you helped get Blaine's family to his senses," she said, "I want you to know that I'm sorry I underestimated you. You may be a little off kilter, but you're heart's in the right place, and I can't thank you enough for making this all end well."

"And that's all?" Ferris said with mock surprise.

"Well what else do you want me to do, kiss your feet and swear undying love?" Andie said sarcastically, "You just never know when to stop, do you?"

"No, and that's why they'll never stop me," Ferris said, digging some more dollars out of the nearest chest. "Here folks, there's more than enough to get you through the winter," he called out, tossing more money to eager takers.

There was a thud against the side of the float as Steff suddenly appeared out of nowhere, looking quite desperate. "Blaine, you've got to help me!" he pleaded his old friend.

"Why? You're beyond help," Blaine snorted.

"I'm bankrupt!" Steff protested, "We've been cleaned out! Nothing left! We're destitute! You've got to help me!"

"And give us one good reason why we should after everything you've done to try and separate us!?" Andie demanded.

"Come on, it's Christmas, and for old times' sake?" Steff pointed out. Andie and Blaine conversed for a moment before she told him, "All right, for Christmas," and tossed down a single bill. "Only twenty dollars!?" Steff wasn't satisfied, "What about the rest of it?"

"That's ALL of it, "Blaine told him, "Have a nice life, Steff."

"No please don't leave me like this!!" Steff shouted as they zoomed away. He let out an anguished groan and slumped to the ground. Both Blaine and Andie smiled, knowing they'd been avenged. "He'll get over it," she told him, "in about twenty years, maybe."

On the other side of their float, Mrs. Oaks was more than willingly throwing away large amounts of money to the needy, something she'd probably have considered silly and wasteful only hours ago. "You're doing good, Mom," Chandra encouraged her mother.

"I hope so," Mrs. Oaks told her, tossing another handful of cash into the waiting arms of wide-eyed inner city kids, "I hope this is the start of a long trek back to what I once hoped to be."

"Well no matter how long it takes, I'm just glad to have you back," Chandra hugged her.

"And I'm glad I have such a great daughter who can forgive so well," she said, returning the hug.

"Uh hmm!?" Claire abruptly snorted to Bender down a few spots down, having noticed he was pocketing several dollar bills. "It's just until New Year's," he said defensively.

"Toss it, now," she said firmly, jerking a finger toward the crowds. Bender sighed and gave up close to fifty dollars. "Just when I was starting to really enjoy this!" he muttered.

"Don't you feel in the least bit happy that you're making other people's lives better?" Andrew asked him.

"Well, uh, maybe, I mean....." Bender sputtered to come up with a reasonable enough answer.

"We'll take that as a yes," Andrew said, "Maybe there is hope for you after all."

"I think there's hope for all misfits in the world," Chandra added, "Even those they completely write off. Like us."

"So we're all misfits?" Bender looked offended.

"EVERYONE'S a misfit one way or another," Brian told him, 'There's no avoiding it. Maybe Mr. Vernon should of thought of that a long time ago. He probably wouldn't be going to jail for life now if he had."

"Well Dick was beyond help since the day he was born," Bender snorted, "I don't think a visit from Clarence Strangemeister or whatever his name was would have even helped."

"It's Oddbody," Allison pointed out.

"Whatever," Bender wasn't interested.

"Speaking of misfits," Claire added, "It feels a lot, to be honest, like we're Rudolph dropping off the Misfit Toys right now. I don't know why, but that's it."

"And actually that scene wasn't in the special when it was first broadcast," Brian pointed out, "It ended with them leaving to go to the island, Mr. Muller told me. So many viewers were upset, though, that they didn't see the toys actually picked up that they added that in 1965. In the process they had to cut a scene that showed the payoff of Yukon Cornelius's pick-throwing gag."

"What happened then?" Andrew was interested.

"He found a peppermint mine," Brian told him, "That explains why he was so intent on licking it."

"Didn't I tell you he was a genius?" Chandra told her mother.

"I can see," Mrs. Oaks said. She looked at Brian with gratefulness in her eyes. "I'd like to thank you for pulling Chandra out of the despair I was leaving her in," she told him.

"Don't mention it," Brian said, used to the praise by now.

"I made the mistake of badmouthing you, and I'm sorry for that. You're really the best thing that happened to her," she went on. "You know he is," Chandra put her arm around her best friend.

On the float in front of them, Lisa was taking serious catcalls from the parade watchers as she produced candy almost out of thin air to give to the children along the way. "How did you get to look that stunning?" Samantha asked her, enraptured.

"It's a long story," Lisa said, winking to Gary and Wyatt on the far side of their float (a Winter Wonderland style one with robotic Arctic and Antarctic animals), "however, I wouldn't get too hung up with it. Even though I wouldn't shove it aside, physical beauty isn't everything in life. In fact, it's very little. I've been told you hang yourself up on a lot of minor things. Don't, it's bad for your id."

"Wait a minute, who told you anything about my id?" Samantha protested, "I've never even...."

"And now, I'll perform my death-defying loop the loop ride of doom!" Sidney announced, plowing toward the nearest fake pine tree in his miniature clown car. Lisa sighed and blew a puff of blue air toward Sidney, causing him to fall asleep and come to a stop before he could impact. "How'd you do that?" Samantha was even more intrigued.

"It's a trade secret," Lisa said, "Maybe some day I'll reveal it." She turned away and went about producing more candy. Confused, Samantha nonetheless shrugged and tossed out another handful of Almond Joys.

"Who else wants a gift!" Clark was shouting back on the Santa float, "Here comes the big one!" He hefted a huge present and tossed it--but it was so heavy it went backwards, knocking over a large stack of presents. '"Uh oh!" Clark groaned when he heard a familiar grunt after the impact. He ran over and pulled Neal out from under the gifts. "Don't tell me you hate me again?" he asked weakly.

Neal took hold of his collar, looking ticked. Then he smiled. "Nah, I've learned that lesson," he said, patting him on the back, "You're a good man, and I can't fault you for that."

"Well, better late than never, I figure," Clark shrugged. He looked out the back of the float. 'Hey, I think Ellen's following us!" he exclaimed, waving toward what looked like his wife's car.

"I think you're right," Neal said, squinting at it, "And I think I just saw Susan's, too!" he said with happy surprise. The two of them high-fived in delight that they'd get to see their families so soon again.

Up on top of the houses that made up a good part of the float, Kevin waved to less fortunate children than himself. "Here you go," he called out to one, throwing him a large green gift.

"You really take good pleasure in doing this," Danny told him.

"It's one of the things I like most about Christmas, the giving," Kevin explained, "There's good feeling you get when you help others, and I hope you feel it too."

"I do, sort of," Skylar admitted, tossing away a present of his own, "It makes me feel more than just some weak orphan."

"Hey, orphans often have more power than the richest guys on the planet," Kevin said, "Like Harry for example. He's done more for the wizarding world than probably Donald Trump could do with his megabucks."

"I guess you could see it that way," Kayla said, "I just wish we could get somewhere soon. It's good and all that that you'll give us shelter and all, but I don't want to burden you've family once they do come back."

"You won't be a burden," Kevin said, "And besides, I think I might just have the answers for us very shortly," he glanced down at Del below, distributing the presents allotted to him by the Walleyland staff.

In the sleigh, Buck checked his watch. "Looks like we're right on time, Mr. Mayor," he told him, "What do you think?"

"Looks about right," Mayor Oaks agreed.

"I still feel ridiculous, Buck," Chanice told him, unable to shed her uncomfortable expression at her wardrobe.

"Well no one's laughing, are they Chanice?" Buck posed, "I think you look great, don't you guys?"

He turned to look for Miles and Maizy's responses, but they, as were Mayor Oaks's sons, were asleep now, even though the music was louder than ever. Buck smiled and covered them with a handy blanket. "Sleep well," he told them softly, then cracked the reins and called out for all to hear, "Ho ho ho, merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

In their police car just in front of the parade, Harry rolled his eyes. "I hate this town, I hate everything about it!" he growled.

"Hey boys, your friends want a little word with you,' Sergeant Vane held back the radio. "Harry you filthy jerk!" Sam roared for him to hear, "You've ruined my life and chances of parole! When I get my hands on......"

"You can rot in Hell!" Harry screamed at him.

"Ah, nothing like the sounds of love in the air at Christmas," Officer Castle chuckled.

"Hey, cork it rookie!" Marv shouted, "We all know we're goin' free at the station, 'cause ya can't prove half the charges against us!"

"Oh really?" Sergeant Vane asked him, "So you didn't rob the old Zayre's building, even though your buddies swear you were there?"

"They're lyin'!" Marv retorted, "We was robbin' the Wal-Mart across town when he said that happened!"

"Shut it, shut it, shut it!!!" Harry kicked Marv unmercifully for his stupid comments. Officer Castle laughed louder than ever. 'To be honest, Sarge, I hope they break out again next year," he told his partner, "Carting these guys in makes my whole year."