The soldiers were very slow getting up. The pain of all the paint cans and the I-beam had been just a little too much. They were now covered form head to toe in paint of all colors, which one could say brightened the situation a little.

Harry was the first to fully recover. "THAT DID IT!!!!!" he shrieked as loud as a human possibly could, "THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW!!! I WAS JUST GONNA KILL HIM; NOW I'M GONNA KILL HIM AND CHOP HIM INTO LITTLE PIECES!!!!!!!!!"

Marv moaned as he staggered to his feet. "How many fingers, Marv?" Harry asked, holding four in front of his buddy's dazed face.

"Anybody catch that winged monkey's license plate?" Marv slurred, completely out of touch with reality. He keeled forward into the four feet or so of paint now lining the dungeon floor. Harry sighed. He took off his scarf and used it to wipe off a little of the paint that now covered him.

"That did it all right!" Private Siskel agreed, hauling himself to his feet, "I've had it! I'm quitting!"

"You're not quitting now, Private!" General Blum yelled at him, "Unless you want to get shot!"

"Sir, do what you want, but when things start getting this bad, it's time to go open that disco parlor I always wanted," Siskel said defiantly. He turned and stormed toward the nearest door. True to his word, the general drew his guns and shot him in the back. "That goes for the rest of you who try and run out now!" he threatened the rest of his command, "Nobody quits unless I say so!"

He glanced down at his now completely ruined uniform. "This is just perfect!" he railed, "Someone should have told me they'd be this defensive! Now they've wrecked my suit!" He strolled over to Champlin. "Colonel, your gun please," he ordered him.

"Don't do it," Vernon warned the colonel, "I've seen this one before."

"Oh sure, you know a lot!" Champlin derided him. He handed his pistol to Blum, who proceeded to shoot his friend of over thirty years dead. "Now I feel better," the general said, looking relieved. He turned to his incredulous men. "What are you all staring at!" he shouted, "I need to let off steam just like the rest of you! Now let's go get those jerks!"

"Sir, with all due respect, I think we're trapped," Lieutenant Maltin pointed to the hole they'd fallen through, which was way above they're heads.

"Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing," Marv spoke up. He staggered around and started gathering up all sorts of assorted objects. "We'll build a pyramid out of all this and climb out," he told everyone.

"Marv, didn't we say that don't work?" Harry told him with raised eyebrows.

"Don't worry Harry, I think I know how to work out the problem this time," Marv said, "This one won't tip over."

The Shermerites pushed open the door to the topmost balcony of the keep. A steel line had been stretched from the edge of the balcony to the ice cream house across the street. "Hook up," Buck instructed them, locking a safety line around his belt and connecting it to the wire. "Brian, remind me how this is set up," he asked the brain.

"Basically, Mr. Russell, it'll break at two thousand pounds, so it'll probably go with ten of them on the line," Brian told him.

"Good, a ton and they're done," Buck picked up his radio. "Roger, bring the barge into position," he told his friend, "Are the police on the way?" 'Yeah, but it'll take about ten minutes," Roger said, "We're setting the fireworks up for them."

"Good thinking," Buck said. He noticed Danny pulling a fire hose out of its case near the door. "What are you doing?" he asked him.

"Giving us more time," Danny nodded to Cutter, who turned it on full blast. Danny soaked the stairs leading up the to the balcony. Buck picked up his drift. "Nice," he said with a smile, "Give them the slip--literally." He walked back over to the edge. "OK, women and children and pets first," he said, helping Kayla out onto the line first. He pushed her off and watched her pedal her way over via one of the hand bikes they'd attached the line toward the ice cream house. "Don't look down," he told her. He wasn't without reason. It was a good six stories down.

Down in the dungeon, Marv's pyramid scheme was failing miserably--again. The moment they all got near the top, it tipped over, spilling several heavy objects all over them. "This is ridiculous!" General Blum derided it all. He pulled out a grappling gun and fired it up and out of sight. Pulling it tight, he started swinging himself up out of their prison. His men realized the huge point in this and did the same. "Shoulda thought of that first, smart guy," Harry told Marv sarcastically from under all the debris, "Let's get climbin'." There was no response. "Marv, are ya still on Earth!?" he yelled, stamping on what he guessed was Marv's chest to get his attention.

"People come together in the moments that they share," Marv's voice came low and dazed from under the heavy iron weights, "on NBC, let's all be there."

"Come on Marv, tune outta NBC, we gotta strangulate that little smart aleck," Harry hauled his partner to his feet and shoved him toward the nearest free rope.

"Tune outta NBC, right," Marv wasn't really in the here and now as he started climbing up the rope. Then he blurted, "From the heartland, sea to shining sea, oh America is watching ABC."

Harry rolled his eyes. Soon they'd all climbed out of the dungeon and were storming up the stairs, pushing aside the hanging paint cans as they went. "There's no escape, Ferris!" Rooney yelled, brandishing twin Lugers, "We've got you trapped now, you filthy rat!"

That way!" Lieutenant Maltin pointed towards the open door leading to the top balcony. Everyone rushed forward, but only a few went on ahead once they noticed the water Danny had poured on the stairs had hardened into ice already. Those that did promptly slipped and fell head over heels back down. Maltin, who was one of them, sighed in deep frustration. "Well, they've done it again," he sighed, "We've been completely embarrassed again!"

"It's not over yet," Private Ebert strode forward with a flamethrower in hand. He raked its flame back and forth over the stairs until all the ice had melted. "Now we won't have any problems," he said, shutting it off.

"Private, remind me to promote you to corporal once this is all over and done with," General Blum told him. Then he drew his sword and ordered, "Have no mercy!!"

Up on the balcony, Buck glanced over his shoulder with deep concern. "They must have diffused the ice already," he realized.

"So does that mean we're screwed?" Clark asked.

"It means you'd better get going now," Buck had no recourse but to shove him out on the line. Neal and Del, the only others left besides himself, went next. Buck picked up Percy with one arm and Cecil with the other. "Like I told the others, don't look down," he told them, jumping off seconds before the first troops emerged on the roof. He looked down and noticed the barge he'd asked for was just about in position underneath the line.

"Shoot that moron!" General Blum screamed at his advance troops, who opened fire toward Buck. The guidance counselor squirmed in every direction in his attempt to avoid being hit. He reached the ice cream house intact and scrambled over Clark, who'd failed to lift his legs up upon approaching the edge and had slammed into the side of the building. "I told you, Clark, lift up the legs," he sighed, helping him up to safety.

"OK kid, where are ya!?" Harry yelled as he barreled onto the roof.

"I'm over here you big dumb horse's ass!" Kevin shouted over, "Better come and get us before we all call the cops!"

Harry grabbed the flamethrower off Private Ebert. "Burn in Hell, kid!!!" he bellowed, letting loose a huge burst of flame over the impossible gap toward the ice cream house. Marv, in the meantime, took a handheld rocket launcher and fired off a shot, but due to his continued dazedness missed completely and sent the projectile hurtled across the property toward the zoo, where there was a loud explosion.

"Turn it off!" General Blum told Harry, who continued his blazing with the flamethrower, "You can't get them like that."

"And I guess you know how, bein' the obvious military genius you are?" Harry retorted.

The general grabbed him by the collar. "Don't you EVER question my ability to wage war!" he said murderously. Shoving Harry aside, he ordered his men, "All right, get out on that line now and stop them before they alert the authorities."

"Out on the line, sir?" Lieutenant Maltin gulped, glancing down at the moat far below them.

"What the matter, Lieutenant, chicken!?" the general taunted him. Maltin shrugged and slowly heaved himself out onto the wire. The rest of the troops fell into line after him, including Sherman, who was shaking his head, knowing they were in for a big zonk. Harry jumped into place after him. "Come on Marv, let's get crackin'," he told his associate.

"I don't know," Marv whimpered, staring down at the long distance to the ground in terror.

"Marv, this is steel cable," Harry said in disgust, "He can't cut it or set it fire like the last few years."

"What can he do with it?" Marv had to know.

"Just come on you big wimp!" Harry growled, shuffling his way up the wire. Whimpering loudly, Marv crawled out onto the line, staying above the wire rather than hanging below it like everyone else. "I swear, you are impossible!" Rooney muttered out loud as he and Vernon followed their employees. "And they'd better be right about this," he whispered to Vernon, "Because if this is another cheap trick, I'll scream."

"In pain, that is!" Vernon added.

Down below, Sam and Lenny watched the procession slowly make its way out over the moat. "Who are they kidding?" the mobster asked out loud, "That's too obvious."

"Not for them, though," Sam said. He flicked open his knife. "Well, I think it's time we start making our move," he said, "since they're obviously going to be out of the picture for a while once they get it this time."

"And then some," Lenny agreed. He cocked his machine gun. The two of them rose and strolled casually over toward the back of the ice cream house.

General Blum was the last one out on the line. "Move it, double time!" he shouted at everyone in front of him, "Come on, pick up the pace! And you stop whimpering!" he spat at Marv, who was on the verge of tears.

"May I ask why you feel it necessary for us to go over here and risk a big fall instead of simply going back down through the castle, which is probably easier?" Vernon inquired of the military man.

"That's too long," the general shouted at him, "I'm a quick strike man, and if we wait too long we'll be giving....."

He didn't get a chance to finish. The line had reached the ton threshold Brian had said it could take. It started sagging low, and the concrete blocks it was attached to on each end broke off. Guessing what was going to happen, Blum hastily backpedaled and grabbed hold of the castle parapet with his hands with the line between his legs. On the other end, Lieutenant Maltin somehow managed to swing his legs up and take hold of the ice cream house legs with the block pulling hard into his crotch. In between on the line, it was pandemonium as the normally emotional soldiers began screaming in utter terror at their latest predicament, although none of their cries matched Marv's peanut whistle-decibel shriek of horror. The tall crook tried frantically to reverse his course, and in the process crushed Rooney's hands. Rooney howled and swung a kick at him that missed. Somehow, however, the wire remained in place. Until Sidney strolled over to the edge. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages," he announced to no one in particular, "The Flying Morons will attempt the infamous Fall of Doom without a safety net! This daring feat has only been...!" he glanced off to his right. "Not now, Alexander, I'm running the show tonight!" he shouted at someone he thought was there, "You don't think I can do it; watch me!" And with that, he pulled a feather that looked as if it had been plucked right off a circus bird--perhaps an ostrich--and let it flutter down toward Maltin's chest.

"RETREAT!!!!" even from the far end of the line, General Blum realized what was about to happen. There was a mad scrambling to his order, the first time he'd ever asked anyone under his command to fall back for anything, as everyone desperately rushed for safety. It wasn't to be; the moment the feather touched Maltin's chest, everything gave way. Thirty men abruptly took a six story freefall, screaming at the top of their lungs all the way. The luckier ones managed to actually land in the moat itself, for those that hit the barge found out the hard way that it had been completely covered with pre-set mousetraps. The sound of traps snapping and soldiers howling in pain soon filled the air.

"Ho ho, they're going to feel that in the morning," Buck said, looking down at the madness below, "And that," he told everyone else, "is our cue to exit stage left, right, or any other direction."

"Good, because this was starting to get a little too hectic for my pace," Andie said. She gave her dog a stroking behind the ears, "How about you, Ace?"

"But the show isn't over yet!" Sidney protested as Del took his hand and led him down the fire escape steps with the others.

"It is for us, Dad," Del told him, "We'll catch it again in, oh, Sheboygan."

"Well, at any rate, at least we can't say we didn't have fun," Ferris said to everyone, "I for one had the time of...."

"Hold it right there, all of you!!" came the unexpected shout of another military man. Too late they all realized that the reserves General Blum had insisted on having "just in case" were now demonstrating their usefulness. The remaining soldiers that hadn't given themselves a hard time trying to get through all their booby traps were waiting for them at the base of the fire exit, guns raised. Behind them, Sam and Lenny stood with their own weapons at bay. "Intelligence gets you anything you want in life," the long-haired con said quietly to his associate.

The Shermerites froze up. There was nowhere for them to run, and they had no more defenses to use against their foes. "You were saying, Ferris?" Cameron asked him sarcastically.

"Uhhhhhhh,......" for the second time that evening, Ferris was at a loss for what to say. A loud clattering told them their opponents had recovered and were on their way. "So, you people thought you could make a monkey out of me and get away with it!?" General Blum bellowed. There was no mistaking the look of carnal rage on his face, especially considering he and everyone else was now covered from head to toe with mousetraps, "Well nobody gets the better of me, ever!" He drew his guns and sword at the same time. "Okay, all of you start walking!" he directed his captives, "We're going to go to a nice quiet place for you to say your last rites! But first give me the codes!"

"You want them, take them," Neal tossed his phony briefcase at Blum, who eagerly opened it, then roared in rage as newspaper clippings tumbled out of it. "You, you.....!" he fumed at them, "You put me through Hell for NOTHING!!!!"

"Sorry to ruin your evening, Bilko, but we turned them in to the authorities hours ago," Neal said, looking a look more courageous than he actually felt with a plethora of guns pointed at him.

Blum threw the briefcase to the ground in disgust. "Move, now!" he roared, firing his weapons at the Shermerites' feet to get them moving. He pulled out his radio. "Have a helicopter ready for me in ten minutes," he ordered his contingent still outside the park, "I want a quick trip to South America once I dispose of these people!"

"Look, I'm sure you can be reasonable here," Clark pleaded with the general about five minutes later as he and his associates were forced up the service stairs to the top of the Quaking Mountain Flume Ride, "I'd be more than willing to strike a deal, any deal, that would let you go free and we keep our lives."

"Oh really," Blum snorted, "Like what?"

"Like, uh, um,...." Clark racked his brain for an answer to this, "How about, uh, you can be my bodyguard, and I can be your long lost pal. That way we benefit each other."

"What kind of deal is that!?" Blum said, disgusted, "That's not even creative thinking!"

"You sure?" Clark asked, disheartened, "I can call you Betty, and you can call me Al, if you want..."

"Shut up!" Blum growled, shoving one of his guns in Clark's face.

"Just thought I'd ask," Clark shrugged. They al crested the top of the stairs, right next to the point where the flume logs went down the big drop. Below them was the lagoon surrounding the mountain, at least twenty feet deep. "All of you, turn around with your hands behind your heads!" Blum ordered. The Shermerites reluctantly complied. "Figures, "Brian muttered to everyone around him, "First time in half a week I don't want to die, and I will!"

"Look at the bright side, Johnson, you at least won't be the first one to go," Vernon said to him, "Your dear friend Mr. Bender here will be." The superintendent grinned victoriously at his nemesis. "So Mr. Bender, it all comes down to this," he said cockily, "You've finally pushed me too far, and now you pay the ultimate price for it."

"If you think I'm going to be a little chicken and grovel at your feet begging for mercy, Dick, you've got another thing coming," Bender folded his arms across his chest defiantly, "Go ahead and shoot me if it makes you feel any better."

"You know I will," Vernon loaded up his rifle and cocked it.

"Please Mr. Vernon, let John live," Del spoke up from nearby, "Kill us if you want, but he deserves to live."

"No!" Vernon yelled at him, "You're still a big idiot, Mr. Griffith, when will you realize he's trash!?" Then he shook his head and said, "Well, you won't, since you'll die too."

"General, I beg you to spare..." Del appealed to Blum.

"You heard the man, no clemency!" the general barked.

"So you'd be willing to gun down innocent women and children in cold blood!?" Chanice was appalled, "You're even lower than I imagined!"

"Take heart, Chanice, you're not the first one to feel like that," Buck told her. He too had been one of them.

"You, innocent women and children!?" Lieutenant Maltin sniggered, "After everything you just did to us? Don't make me laugh!"

"Gimme that!" Harry pulled a bazooka launcher off a soldier and loaded it up. "Here, take my gun, Marv," he said, handing his partner his firearm, "Go kill one of his henchmen. I'm killin' him."

"But I wanna kill him!" Marv whined, falling to his knees.

Harry rolled his eyes. "OK, once I finish killin' him, you can kill the rest of him," he said wearily, "In the meantime, kill one of his homies for me!"

"Great," Marv immediately perked up and pointed Harry's gun at a somber Danny. Harry strode over to Kevin and pointed the bazooka right between his eyes. "It's all over, kid," he snarled, "And this time there ain't no old geezers around to save ya!"

Kevin gulped nervously. It did look like curtains this time. He looked around for any sign of hope and deliverance, but there didn't seem to be any way out.

"Load up!" General Blum ordered his men, who armed their remaining weapons to their fullest extent. "Ready!" he ordered, "Aim......!"

"STOP!!" Sherman jumped between his compatriots and the Shermerites, his own weapon raised. "Stand down, Major!" his father ordered, "This is no time to interfere with this!!"

"I won't let you go through with this!" Sherman shouted, "These people don't deserve to be killed, and you know it!"

"I said stand down!!!" the general screamed.

"No!!" Sherman held the gun right to his face. "Stay back, all of you!" he ordered the troops who'd come rushing forward to defend their superior. These men shrank backwards. "I'm taking control now," the major said softly but harshly, "We're packing up, leaving, and turning ourselves into the authorities."

"Good advice," Clark told the general, "I'd go with him on that."

"You stay out of this!" Blum snapped at him. "Are you insane!" he barked at his son, "I am not going to a federal penitentiary just because you want to wimp out and let these jerks hang on to their wasted, useless lives, Major!"

"MY NAME IS SHERMAN!!!" the major's call echoed over the park louder than an avalanche, "Start calling me by it for once in my life! Now that I think about it, everything you've ever told me is a lie!"

"Okay Sherm, you're in serious need of help," Maltin tried to pull him away. Sherman shoved him toward the flume. "I'm warning you, DAD!!" he told the general sternly, "Either you let them go now, or I won't hesitate to pull this trigger on you!!"

For a moment there was silence as father and son stood off against each other. Then in a quick flash, multiple shots rang out. "Unfortunately for you, Major, I wouldn't hesitate either," the general said as his son crumpled to the ground. He coldly kicked the corpse into the flume water. Everyone else watched it tumble down into the dark waters below. "That," the general told the rest of his men, "Is what will happen to any of the rest of you that mutiny against my orders, is that clear!?"

"Of course sir," came the shout in unison.

"Some father you were," Del snorted.

"What would you happen to know about fatherhood, you fat oaf!?" the general asked him cruelly. Without even giving him a chance to answer, he ordered, "I've had enough talking! Prepare to execute!"

Everyone took their positions. "Are you sure we can't have the option of jumping to our deaths?" Clark tried one last approach, "I think the water looks pretty deep down there, and....."

"Sparky!" Neal elbowed him in the chest.

"Well, I don't know about you, Neal, but I'd like to go out my way," Clark said in self-defense.

"Ready!" Blum ordered again, raising his sword high.

"End of the line, Ferris," Rooney snickered, pressing his last gun against the teen's forehead, "Let's see you pull one of your smart little tricks on me this time!" He let out a laugh that bordered on the insane as he released the safety catch on the gun and put his finger on the trigger.

"Aim!" came Blum's second order. His remaining men all took aim at their victims.

"The war's finally over kid," Harry said coldly, staring a frightened Kevin right in the eyes, "And you lose!" He also took hold of the trigger. The Shermerites all closed their eyes, expecting the end to come any second now............