Back in the Victorian Village, Kevin stuck his head out of the second story window of the citrus house. His arch-nemeses were assisting the soldiers still on the street in searching from building to building. But he needed them and them alone for what he currently had in mind.

"Hey guys," he called over to them, "Up here." Both burglars heads shot around faster than a hummingbird's wings. "You ain't got a chance in hell this time, kid, so come on outta there!" Harry shouted up at him.

"I surrender," Kevin waved a white flag, "You guys win. Come on up and get me."

As he expected, both crooks idiotically took the bait. "Come on Marv, let's get him, "Harry waved his buddy toward an oak tree that was right next to the window. They slowly clambered up it, Marv whimpering at being high up again. Kevin set about working on the spray fan that would pump out fake snow to fall on people below in the event there was no snow in the first place. He twisted it around to face where they'd be coming up. Harry huffed up to the window. "Okay, come on out here and we won't hurt ya," the crook called to his foe. Kevin instead hit the fan's on switch, and Harry took a spray of soap suds right in the face. "Fooled you!" the child said mischievously, "Come and get me if you still want me!"

He ran off down the hall and up the stairs to the roof. Danny was finishing the task of pouring axle grease on the ground. "It's all ready," he told Kevin as they crouched inside an open barrel, "They've just got to hit it right, and it's really going to pay off the way we planned it."

"It will," Kevin reassured him, "These guys are too dumb not to do what we predict."

Harry was steamed as he climbed in through the window. "Oh that's it, now he's really askin' for it!" he bellowed as he hauled Marv in after him, "Come on Marv, we got him cornered up here."

"Up where?" Marv looked around for any sign of his hated foe.

"Up here, dummy, dummy, dummy," Kevin called down to him. Both burglars ran up the stairs as fast as their feet could carry them. Harry barged through the door and promptly began slipping on the grease. He managed to keep upright, but unfortunately for him, Marv collided with him from behind and sent him sliding across the roof and over the edge, where his fall lasted a story before it was rudely interrupted by an air conditioner that was sticking out of the window below him.

"Harry!" Marv slid his way over to the edge of the roof, "Are you OK down there?"

"Do I look like I'm okay?" Harry yelled up at him, "Get me down from here!"

"Don't go anywhere, Harry, I'll have you down in a minute," Marv started back toward the door, but slipped on the grease and landed on his back. "OK, better make that two minutes," he called down to his buddy as his slipped and slid his way back toward the stairs--and slipped face-first down them.

Down below, Harry barely had time to start feeling the harsh pain in his inseam from his landing than the air conditioner started to slide out of the window under his weight. His face flushed with horror at the knowledge of what was about to happen, he grabbed onto the nearest cable going down the side of the building just as the air conditioner gave way and fell. The cable gave way also, and Harry fell himself, pulling off the roof the very large DirecTV satellite dish the cable was attached too. Unaware that so many objects were now falling, Marv rushed out into the back alley, attracted by his colleague's screaming. "Don't worry, Harry, I'll catch ya!" he shouted holding his arms up to catch Harry. Instead he caught the air conditioner. In the forehead. Marv crumpled senseless to the ground. Harry landed hard on top of him a moment later. Noticing the falling cable, the shorter crook had just enough time to look up at the plummeting satellite dish and exclaim, "Oh no!" before it crashed down on top of him.

"Yes!" Kevin pumped his fist in excitement and gave Danny a high-five.

"Now THAT'S what I call a good start," he said, glancing down at the dazed crooks below them in the alley.

"You might say they finally got their MTV," Danny joked.

"And about eight hundred other channels they probably wanted," Kevin agreed.

On the public side of the street, General Blum strode over to the barber shop, where Douglas was now flying around wildly in circles. "Are they in there, Douglas?" he asked his pet. Douglas screeched loudly, apparently saying yes. Its master drew his guns and kicked the barber shop door open.

"Come on out of there you!" he shouted, "I will give no quarter if you don't!"

Without any warning, Ferris popped into the doorway wearing a barber coat and handlebar mustache. "Good evening sir, welcome to Bueller's Barbershop," he told the surprised general, "Please come on in."

He took Blum by the hand before the general could put up any resistance and dragged him over to the barber chair, closing the door behind them so no one else could come in. "Please put your weapons on the counter," he said, relieving Blum of his guns and sword and tossing them out of his reach. He strapped the still off-guard military man to the barber chair.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, you filthy delinquent!?" Blum demanded.

"Please sir, I require complete silence while I work my mastery," Ferris removed the general's cap, shook up the nearest bottle of shaving cream, and started spraying it all over Blum's head. "Stop it!" he shouted.

"Oh, don't you think it's safe?" Ferris asked him. He picked up the electric razor. "Let's find out: is it safe?" He turned the razor on and started shaving Blum's head. "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiggggaro, figaro, figaro, figaro, figaro!!" he boomed out, "Astamo fistino Il Pacino, Luigi seltzero como se qua, Eduardo Scissorhandzi, whata closa shava....!"

"Cut it out!!" General Blum bellowed, trying hard to twist away, unsuccessfully. Once Ferris was finished, he walked over to the fire hose on the wall, turned on the water, and sprayed Blum in the face, washing off the excess shaving cream. "Thank you for stopping by, come back soon," he told the general. He picked up Blum's weapons and ran out the back door. Blum broke loose form the strap holding him to the barber chair. He rose to his feet and ran over to the mirror to see the extent of the damage Ferris had wreaked on his hair. The sight of these results made him scream loud enough to crack the mirror: his mustache was gone, and his hair had been shaved into the pattern of a tic-tac-toe board, complete with Xs and Os!

Over in the Forgotten Desert, Vernon stepped warily down the main street of the Western town Roy Walley's innovators had created. He'd heard some of the screaming start in the other parts of the park, and was on extra guard. Especially with Bender on the loose.

The sounds of footsteps over by the Wild Bronco made him turn. "Who is it!" he demanded, waving his rifle in the direction of the roller coaster, "Show yourself!"

He noticed several soldiers coming up the street behind him. "You there," he shouted over to them, "Come here. I need superior firepower."

"Where are they?" one of them asked, looking over the silent coaster.

"I know there here somewhere, I heard them," Vernon said. They approached the coaster and looked around. No sign of anyone. Vernon shook his head.

"I could swear I heard...." he started to say, but then came the sound of some sort of tripwire being activated by one of the soldiers. The next thing the superintendent knew, something large and soft hit him on the back of the head, knocking him and the others forward into the coaster. The lap bars automatically came down, trapping them inside. "What the hell's going on in here!?" Vernon demanded out loud.

"What's going on, Mr. Vernon, is you're going to find out what happens when we all get tired of you treating us like dirt," came Brian's voice from the loading platform. Unable to turn around and look the brain square in the eye, Vernon could only bellow, "If you don't let me out of here right now, Johnson, I'll take the GPA in all your classes down to a big, fat zero percent, do you hear me!?"

"Yeah, I hear you," Brian told him. Then he raised his walkie-talkie to his lips and said, "OK Wyatt, start it up."

The coaster car lurched out of the station. "Oh no Johnson, you are not getting away with this!" Vernon shouted to him as the coaster started up the lift hill, "Stop this coaster now or I'll crush your johnson, Johnson!" "Too late, I...or should I say we, already have," Brian called up to him, "My advice is, enjoy the ride." He sighed in delight and said to himself, "God, I always wanted to do that to him."

"I demand you stop this infernal machine now, Johnson, or there'll be....!!!" Vernon's normally stoic eyes bulged with horror as the car breezed over the top of the lift hill and stared down the huge fall to the ground. The superintendent hated thrill rides. "Oh this can't be HAPPPPPPENNINNGGGG!!!!" he shrieked as they roared around the coaster's structure at almost ninety miles an hour. The soldiers trapped on board with him joined in the shrieking. Two of them were already on the verge of vomiting and the ride wasn't even half over yet. "STOP THIS THING!!!" Vernon shouted loud enough to be heard over the whole park.

"Guys, I think he wants us to stop the experience for him," Brian radioed the control room, 'You think you can go a little easy on him?"

"Ten-four," was the response. As the train sped into a high loop, the safety bars popped back off. Vernon, before he could grab on to anything else for safety, fell about fifty feet to the ground, where he landed on top of real, live cacti. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs. His associates for the ride were somewhat more fortunate; about half of them hit the coaster track just after the train had passed by, while the other have fell into a man-made drinking hole with audio-animatronic horses drinking nearby. "What are you looking at!?" one of them shouted at a horse who seemed to be laughing at him.

"I know you're in here, Ferris!" Rooney shouted halfway across the park as he stood in the middle of Space Port Delta, gun cocked, "Come on out now!"

"Oh Mr. Rooney," came Sloane's voice from behind a column near the Rocket to Pluto simulation ride. She tossed a snowball of her own at the principal, hitting him in the arm. "We're in here, get us if you want us, you incredible bimbo," she taunted him, running inside.

"Petersen you slut, get back here!!" Rooney charged after her firing several blasts at her. He shoved the door to the attraction open and zipped through the pre-show area into the large ride chamber simulating a rocket cockpit. "You can't hide from me!" he warned her, looking around for her, "Show yourself!"

"He's in position, turn the ride on," Sloane whispered into her walkie-talkie from her hiding place behind the curtain in front of the simulator screen. In the control room, Gary clicked the appropriate override button on his computer for the Rocket to Pluto ride. The next thing Rooney knew, incredible G-forces filled the room, pushing him to the floor. When the stopped, he was surprised to find that, in accordance with outer space scenes showing on the screen, weightlessness had taken over the room, and he was started to float upwards. "What are you doing, Petersen!?" he demanded to Sloane over the "Mission Control Chief's" ,"It's now safe to remove your seat belts.

"Isn't this fun, Mr. Rooney,.....Ed?" Sloane asked him, floating out into view, "Weightlessness is so enjoyable."

Furious, Rooney fired off blasts at her, but the lack of gravity caused the bullets to act bizarre and float away from her. Sloane backstroked up toward an air duct. "It's just like taking those accursed swim classes you made us take," she told him, "Only drier."

"If you don't surrender to me now, I'll have no reservations about slicing you clean in two!" Rooney threatened her. He started swimming through the air after her.

"Talk is cheap," Sloane yawned. She opened the duct and climbed out. Rooney was starting to gain on her. "Okay, let him have it," she informed the people in the control room. Rooney grasped for the duct handle, but before he could grab it, gravity came back into effect, and he abruptly plummeted twenty-five feet into the seats set up in the chamber. He groaned in pain, clutching his back.

"Good work," Buck commended everyone involved with this particular booby trap. He looked over at Lloyd's screen. "Be on alert, all of you in the water park, we've got a squad coming your way."

"So where are they?" Lieutenant Maltin asked, confused as they strolled into the still-uncompleted water park, " I could swear I saw a flare go up in here."

"I know we saw the flare," Sherman told him. He turned to his small command. "Listen, I know we have orders, but if we find them, let's just take them into custody. Don't kill them. There's been enough killing tonight."

"Major, you know we can't disobey orders," one of his soldiers told him. "I know, but I'm just not convinced....." Sherman started to tell him, but a quick movement above them. The large bucket at the pinnacle of the park had filled up completely with water and was tipping over. Before any of the soldiers could react, an avalanche of H2O utterly drenched them. The troops started shooting away at the bucket. "Hold your fire, they're not up there," Sherman ordered them.

"No, we're up here," Skylar called from atop the Uni-Bomber thrill slide nearby, "Come and get us."

"Hold it," Sherman held back several eager troops who lunged toward it, "He's just a kid. Lieutenant, you and I can take him."

"Right," Maltin followed his superior up the long and winding stairs to the cylindrical launching door of the attraction. "We don't want to kill you," Sherman called out to Skylar, "Just be a nice kid and turn yourself in."

"I'm in here, bozo," came Skylar's voice from inside the launcher. Both men charged in--and found themselves staring at a tape recorder. Before they could do anything else, the door was slammed shut behind them. Maltin yanked on the knob. "Hey, unlock they door, kid!" he shouted.

Skylar strutted into view outside the plastic window. "Sorry," he told them, "But guess what happens when I push this button here?"

Horrible expression swept over Sherman and Maltin's faces--they'd been tricked. They glanced down to see a very noticeable divide up the middle of the floor--and that they were right over top of a very long water slide.

"No, please kid, don't do it!" Sherman screamed through the window.

"We'll give you a million bucks if you don't do it!" Maltin added.

Skylar shook his head and pushed the button. The floor opened up, sending Maltin and Sherman screaming--both figuratively and literally--down the slide. "If you've got it set up already, get out of the way," Skylar radioed Kayla.

"I heard," Kayla scurried away from the very large balloon she'd rigged up at the base of the slide. Seconds later, both men slid down on top of it, causing it to explode in a shower of.....

"BUBBLE GUM!!" Maltin exclaimed. He and Sherman were now stuck in a huge glob of it. "That little delinquent will pay for this!" the lieutenant ranted, "He ruined my uniform!"

"Will you forget about the uniform!?" Sherman shouted at him, "We've got to radio for assistance!" he reached for his, but found it buried under the gum. He sighed, seeing no alternative but to yell, "HEELLLLLLLLLPPP!" at the top of his lungs.

The rest of the command heard his plea from where he and Maltin had left them. "Let's go get the major," one of them gestured to the others. As they ran toward the pool their comrades were now stuck in, one of them activated a tripwire connected to the controls of a cement truck parked nearby, activating the mixer. Before any of the soldiers knew what hit them, a load of quick-drying cement was dumped all over them. "Where did this come from!?" one of them demanded.

"Us, you moron," Kayla called from across the plaza. The soldiers charged at her, but started to significantly slow down as they got near here, and eventually managed to harden completely in place.

"Well, that scratches about a dozen more," Skylar said, joining her. He waved his hand in front of several frozen soldiers. They were unable to move at all. "I'm glad we could cement our friendship this way, guys," he told them mockingly.

In the back of the alley, Harry groaned as he pushed the satellite dish off his chest. "Oh boy, he's really gonna pay for that one!" he raged, "Come on Marv, he can't've gone far!"

Marv grunted and slowly heaved himself to his feet. The two thugs stumbled back through the citrus house to the main street, where the building-to-building search was still in progress. "Hey general, did ya happen to see if the kid....?" Marv started to say, but his attention was distracted by something else. "Is something wrong with yer hair there?" he had to ask.

"It's none of your business!" General Blum snapped, pulling his hat down low over his head to disguise Ferris's job on his hair, "No, I didn't see the creep. I know he's...."

"Hey guys," Kevin stuck his head out of the funhouse up the street, "Looking for me?"

"C'mere you little creep!" Harry charged toward the funhouse. "You guys," he shouted at a clump of soldiers across the street, "C'mere! We need yer firepower!"

"Give us one good reason why," Private Siskel asked him roughly.

"How about half our loot," Harry told him, feeling like an idiot for giving away that much of his haul.

"Fine, but I really don't like you idiots, and I think it's safe to say the rest of us don't like you either," Private Ebert told him.

"Ah, go suck soap," Harry snorted at him. They all entered the funhouse.

"Be on your guard," Marv warned the troops, "This is like his home turf, the funhouse."

"We're battle tested over a decade, buddy," Warrant Officer Travers told him, "We can handle anything."

"He's in there," one of the soldiers pointed at Kevin's silhouette exiting the Barrel-o-Fun to their right. They all charge straight into it--exactly what Kevin wanted. "Turn it on full power," he said into his radio.

"What's he doin'!?" Marv yelled out loud as the barrel started spinning very, very fast.

"How am I supposed to know!?" Harry told him. They all tried to stay upright, but it was a futile attempt, and they fell over and were churned around at an almost homicidal rate. Kevin smiled in satisfaction and ran off towards the heart of the funhouse, making sure he was seen. He needed them to follow him further.

Somehow, the burglars managed to crawl out of the rapidly spinning barrel. "Just take your time and catch up when ya get the chance," Marv called to the soldiers, who were getting green at the gills from their rotating. The two of them took off up the stairs after Kevin. "Boy, if that's gonna be the extent of his so-called creative genius in here, he's gonna be easy pickins'" Harry confided in his buddy.

"Yep, he's sure done worse than this," Marv agreed. No sooner had he said this, however, than the floor started vibrating. "Now what!?" Harry groaned as they were tripped up.

"That's why they call it a fun house, guys," Kevin called from the bottom of the nearest staircase, "Come and get me."

"You'd better pray the others don't catch up with us, kid!" Harry shouted as he and Marv rushed for the staircase. Kevin waved to Blaine, who was standing guard at a lever off to the side of the stairs. The rich boy nodded and threw the lever, turning the stairs into a slide just as Harry started down them. The short crook slipped and slid down it, colliding with a support column.

"Harry, don't move, I'll get 'em for ya," Marv called his empained buddy. He sat down and slid down the slide. Blaine threw the switch back to staircase setting, causing Marv to tumbled head over heels once it was a staircase again. The tall crook wasn't immobilized, though. "Hey you! Get back here!" he yelled at Blaine as he ran off for the nearest service door and proceeded to give chase, crowbar raised menacingly. Thinking quickly, Blaine held the door open and waited until Marv was almost on top of him before slamming it literally in the burglar's face. Marv groaned and staggered backward, clutching his face in agony.

Rooney tried to get up from his landing spot in the Rocket to Pluto ride area. His coat sleeve was stuck on a bolt between the seats he'd landed on, however. "Come on, "he growled pulling hard to try and free it. He yanked too hard, however, and his whole coat arm was ripped right off his coat.

"Great!" he grumbled, glaring at his exposed tuxedo arm. He picked up his rifle and stormed for the exit. As he left the building, he nudged against a line stretched across the doorway. Realizing a zonk, he looked skyward to see a broken-down Skyway car falling toward him. He had enough time to leap far enough out of the way to avoid a direct blow, but it still glanced off the side of his skull and knocked him silly. As he fell to the ground, Cameron popped out of the bushes and dragged the principal across the street of Space Port Delta to the Captain CF 3-D show building. "I'm taking him into the Captain's lair," he announced to the control room.

"Gotcha Cam," Buck told him. He was slipping into a motion control suit for an idea he'd just come up with on the spot.

Cameron picked up a pair of 3-D glasses from the tray out front of the theater. Once inside, he put them over Rooney's eyes and propped the principal into a seat. "Start the film," he told the control room as he went back out the entrance. As Rooney regained consciousness, he suddenly found spaceships zooming all around him firing their laser guns. Shocked, he fired back in every direction at once. One of his bullets, shattered the supports for a net strung over the theater, and Rooney promptly was knocked out cold when the ton of bricks the net was holding up fell down on top of him.

Vernon finished pulling the last of the cactus prickles out of his rear. He looked around for Brian. The brain had vanished, but Vernon saw his footsteps headed toward It's a Tiny Planet. "Come on, he went this way," he waved to the soldiers.

"Forget it pal, I'm not going through it again!" one of the troops told him. Vernon shook his head and ran toward the building. Not even bothering about the boats at the ride queue, he jumped into the river and stormed into the attraction, where the famous millions of dolls sang away with their nauseatingly cute song: "We are all one people, one human race, we'd just love to put a smile on your face..."

"Ah, shut up!" Vernon fired off several volleys at the dolls, destroying a couple dozen of them. "I know you're in here, Johnson!" he called out, "If you and the others think you can run forever...!"

Suddenly the lights in the attraction went out. "What do you think you're doing!?" Vernon bellowed. He found out as a ride car ran into him from behind, knocking him backwards into the front seat. The boat took off threw the ride area at a high rate of speed.

"Spooky, isn't it Richard?" Buck mocked him over the intercom for the It's a Tiny Planet building. "There's no earthly way of knowing," he hummed in his best Willy Wonka impression as Vernon's boat tore through the building, "which direction you are going. No telling where the boat is rowing, or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining; is it snowing; is a hurricane a-blowing?"

"That's not even remotely funny, Russell!" Vernon bellowed at him through the darkness. He was starting to feel sick again, "Stop this damn boat right now!"

"What do you think, should I stop it for him?" Buck asked his family.

"Go right ahead," Tia gave him the thumbs-up. Buck walked over to the appropriate console as Vernon's car exited the building and hit the emergency stop button. As the boat came to a complete stop in less than a second, Vernon, who'd made the mistake of trying to stand up, was flung several yards toward a crane standing near the ride. He slammed against the control lever, which caused the crane's shovel to tip over, dumping a load of park trash all over the superintendent. In the control room, Buck laughed at the sight of his former boss covered in garbage. "Like I always say," he told everyone with him, "We should always put trash in its proper place."

"He went out the door, Harry," Marv shouted excitedly to his partner as Harry got back to his feet.

"Will ya forget about that guy?" Harry told him, "The kid went that way. Come on; he can't've gone far."

The soldiers who'd been stuck in the Barrel-o-Fun stumbled down the stairs, still looking nauseated. "This way, ya useless mercs," Harry pointed toward the next hallway. They all ran down the hall which appeared to dead end. "Well wise guy, where is he?" Private Siskel asked Harry curtly.

Before the crook could answer, the floor opened under them, and they all tumbled down a long, curving chute. This led to a human pool table, which sent them spinning all over the place. After this came another slide down a slightly shorter chute onto a human roulette wheel. Those who could grabbed for the center pole, but were unable to hold on and were spun off to the sides of the roulette wheel, which was spinning at the speed of light. Harry managed to hook his crowbar around a pipe over the attraction and haul himself up, a task made no easier by the fact Marv was clinging to his legs.

"Ya need to lose weight," he told his colleague as they pulled themselves to safety.

"What about them?" Marv pointed to the soldiers still spinning on the roulette wheel.

"Let 'em spin," Harry muttered, "I'll tell ya, we're gonna take over the Caribbean, we'll need guys with bigger stomachs than them for pain."

"How about Krang and the Shredder?" Marv suggested.

"Forget I said anything!" Harry rolled his eyes. Marv had watched too much of Walley Channel during the last eleven months in prison. "Come on, he must've left the building."

"Right," Marv looked around, "Where is it?"

"Over there," Harry pointed to a set of double doors clearly marked EXIT to their right. They rushed over to them. "Hold it," Harry warned Marv before he could grab the doorknob on the left. He carefully tested each knob for heat and nodded to his buddy that it was safe. They turned their knobs--and were promptly hit by a severe power surge from the electrical generator rigged to both doorknobs. They could have let go of the knobs and saved themselves much aggravation, but for some unknown reason continued to hold on as thousands of volts surged through their systems. Finally, after about ten seconds, Kevin out of mercy turned it off for them. "That'll take the air out of their sails for a while," he reasoned as he ran off to his next station, "Now to take out the bigger threats."

"Colonel, status report," General Blum asked to his second in command.

"We're tracking down the subjects inside the Escape the Titanic ride," Champlin told him, "We saw the kid in the blue tuxedo run in here a few minutes ago. There seems to be someone behind the door at the end of the corridor. Shalit's about to look in and....OH LORD!!!!"

"What?" Blum asked. He could hear the sound of a lot of water on the other end of the line. The connection shorted out. "Colonel, come in," he asked. There was only static. He tossed the radio down in disgust. "This is insane, this is absolutely insane!" he confided in Douglas, who'd returned to him a few minutes ago, "We've fought the best armies in the world, and now these fools can't handle an overweight loser, three morons, and a bunch of smart aleck kids!"

"Sir, be aware, Marty Moose is coming at us," a member of his command warned him. The general looked up to see a large robotic Marty bounding toward him. Inside the control room, Buck grinned with uncontrollable glee as he maneuvered Marty toward his old nemesis via a closed-circuit screen attached to the front of his motion control suit. "This'll get them good!" he figured.

"I still don't get how you can control the moose from up here, Buck," Rocco asked from his computer.

"They said on the behind-the-scenes special two weeks ago on the Magical World of Walley that they use they robotic models to fill in whenever the weather's bad or the cast members call in sick," Maizy explained to him, "These suits are connected to the robots with some kind of small wires; whatever we do, it does."

"Kind of like how Dr. Octopus controls his tentacles," Miles further explained.

"Oh," Rocco looked like he still didn't get it.

"Hiya folks," Buck announced to the soldiers. His voice came out as Marty's. "You know the rules; no guns in the park."

"What is this about?" Blum asked. He gestured his men to take aim at the robotic moose.

"Aw, you want to go and shoot me?" Buck said, trying to sound offended, "That makes Marty one mad moose!"

He swung at the nearest soldiers, outtening their lights. The troops opened fire at him. Buck as Marty ducked the shots and charged with antlers down toward the nearest cluster, sending them scattering. "Everybody was kung fu fighting!!" he hummed, delivering harsh kicks to those that chose to stay and fight with him.

"What the hell's the matter with you imbeciles!!" General Blum bellowed at his men, "It's just an oversized doll! You can destroy it!"

"Well Colonel Blum," Buck made Marty approach the general, "I've heard that you've been a really bad boy this year. Since there aren't any kids around, that means I get to play The Nutcracker with you."

What do you mean the....." General Blum was cut off as the Marty robot shoved him to the ground, then grabbed him by the nuts and gave them a violent twist. "YYEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!" the general couldn't stop himself from screaming in pain.

"One small pain for you for all the pain you've caused around the world," Buck said, "Santa's going to give you a big coal mine for the holidays; hopefully he'll seal you up in it."

"Let go of my balls this minute, you accursed moose!" General Blum shouted at him.

"Whatever you say," Buck as Marty said. He relinquished his grip, only to started jumping up and down on Blum's chest. Several other soldiers pulled him off. "Let the general go, or we'll go hunt down Marilyn and mount her head on the wall!" one of them threatened him.

"Don't talk about my sweetheart that way!!" Buck backhanded the soldiers away from the Marty robot. He cartwheeled over to the outdoor dining area for the ice cream house. "Here's your table sir," he said, tossing one at a soldier who came at him with a bazooka. "Have some ice cream, Lieutenant Dan," he told another with a submachine gun, smashing his head into an ice cream cart. "Sonny, meet your new partner, Chair," he said, hitting a flame thrower-wielding soldier over the head with a folding chair. The soldiers backed off, afraid to take the wild and crazy moose. "Well, don't be cowards, take him!" General Blum yelled at them.

"Sir, with all due respect, I think he's yours," one soldier told his commander. Blum glanced down at his still-sore privates and shook his head.

"Chickens!" Buck taunted them, leading Marty away toward the Christmas tree.

"The Nutcracker, Buck?" Chanice raised an eyebrow toward him, "That was very nice to say in front of the kids."

"Well it was too good to pass up, Chanice," Buck said as he switched off the suit's microphone, "Tell me you loved Sonny and Chair, though."

"Well, yeah, Sonny and Chair was a good one," Chanice managed to smile at the thought of the line.

Back on the street, General Blum watched in surprise as remnants of his command staggered up the street toward him. "What happened to you men?" he asked.

"Sir, the situation's worse than we projected," Lieutenant Maltin told his boss. He and Sherman were still partially stuck together with the gum. "They pulled a fast one on us in the water park; several of our command are still incapacitated over there."

"Wounded?" the general inquired.

"Cemented, solid," the lieutenant said, "In fact, I can only think of one piece of good news with all this."

"And what might that be, lieutenant?"

"Well sir, we can still save a ton on our car insurance if we switch to Geico."

An angry roar erupted from Blum's throat. He delivered a vicious kick to Maltin's shin. "That's not even remotely funny!!!" he shouted. He drew his saber from its sheath. "Men, from now on there will be no quarter given!" he decreed, "Follow me. When I get through with them, there won't be any pieces of them left to identify them with!!"

He charged up the street, his command following behind him. Buck stuck Marty's head out from behind the tree. "No pieces left, huh?" he asked after the soldiers, "I don't think so!"