"You want to hurry this up, Ed, we were in the middle of determining next year's budget!" growled the head of the school board as Rooney ushered them all into his office.

"Don't worry Leonard, you'll thank me later for this," Rooney told him. He closed the door behind him. "Everybody here? Now you're probably wondering why I've called you all here."

"HELL YES!!!" the school board all demanded.

"Well then, as you all know, I've been trying to convince you all that Ferris Bueller is a menace to this school, and thus far, you've told me that I've been carrying it too far with him. Well now I have firm proof that he's been acting against me and all of you, and I'd like to share it with all of you."

"This wouldn't be another attempt to get a pay raise, is it Ed?" demanded a female board member.

"Florence, if I wanted a raise, I wouldn't use blackmail," Rooney said, winking. "And now, for all your listening pleasure, I give you Ferris Bueller, guilty as hell."

He confidently pressed the PLAY button. The tape recorder roared to life: ".nothing can dampen my spirits tonight. Ferris is dead meat, and there's nothing he can do to stop me this time!"

"Well suppose that Frye boy doesn't give in to you, Ed?"

"Anita, Frye is a total wimp; he practically gave in to me this afternoon when I confronted him with the accusation of attempting to bomb the school."

"But what if the school board finds out that you fabricated that evidence just to have an excuse to get Ferris Bueller kicked out?"

"Nobody's going to find out, Anita; only those two idiots I hired last night know, and I."

The tape recorder fell from Rooney's hand to the floor. His mouth hung open in horror. Frye had pulled the ultimate double-cross! He cast a meek glance upward. Harsh glares now greeted him.

"Th-Th-This is ob-obviously another one of Ferris's pr-pranks!" he stammered, "H-He's trying to make me look even worse here!"

"You deliberated framed a student for your own personal benefit!!??" angrily demanded a white-haired board member.

"No, no, of course not Ben!" Rooney cried. "You know I'd never do that! I'd never try to use illegal means!"

"I can vouch for Ed on this, ladies and gentlemen," Vernon cut in quickly

. "We didn't ask you, Richard!" retorted Leonard the board president. Just as Rooney was starting to feel the heat, Grace stuck her head in the door.

"There's some gentlemen out front with a Christmas present for you, Ed," she announced.

"I didn't order any Christmas present, Grace; get rid of them!" Rooney told her.

"I can't Ed; they need your signature, and on top of that, they say you filed for it three months ago," Grace told him.

None of this sounded familiar to Rooney, but at the moment, he was ready to take any chance to get out of the pressure cooker his office had become. "All right, I'll go check it out," he muttered, scurrying as fast as he could into the hall. The break would also give him a chance to figure out how to make the board realize Bueller and Frye had framed him. He walked over to the front door to find a dozen or so dopey looking guys wearing Santa hats standing on the front steps, in front of a tractor-trailer backed into place. Once Rooney came into sight, they all started singing, "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree. On the second days of Christmas, my.."

"What's this all about, gentlemen!?" Rooney demanded them. They ignored him and continued singing their song. "Hey, listen to me!!" he yelled. Still no response. Frustrated, he tried to keep calm while they continued singing through each of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Something about this was just screaming Ferris. Finally, after finishing the final refrain, they swept open the truck's rear door and cheered out, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" Rooney's eyes grew wide with horror again as he saw everything in the song-three French hens, six geese a-laying, ten lords a-leaping, etc-coming right out the back of the truck at him. "Oh no you don't, no, no, no!!!!" he shouted, waving his arms. His words had no effect, and he was forced to retreat back inside to avoid being run over by the eight maids a-milking's cows, which were stampeding away from the maids. "Gene!" he screamed around to the security chief, "This is a code red! Get out here immediately!" Seeing the stampeding cows upon him again, and seeing no other alternative, he ran for the nearby Christmas tree and ran up the ladder leaning against it, shoving aside Carl, who'd been taking off some of the decorations. "What's this for, Ed?" the janitor yelled out over the din of the eleven pipers piping, who were marching in drill formation toward the computer labs.

"Carl, if I knew what it was for, I wouldn't be up here!" Rooney yelled to him. Just then, the two turtledoves flew right in his face. He swung wildly at them. Get lost, you filthy sparrows!" he yelled at them. In doing this, however, he lost his balance and fell backwards into the tree, which collapsed under his weight to the floor with him clinging to it. The seven swans a-swimming mobbed him immediately. "Get away, get away!" he yelled, shooing them off.

"You'd better have a good explanation for what's going on here Ed!" demanded Leonard the board president from nearby.

"I swear Leonard, I have no idea what this is all about!" Rooney pleaded with him, giving the last swan a sharp kick.

"Edward Rooney?" asked one of the dopey delivery guys, walking up to him. "Yes," Rooney growled, "What's all this about?"

"Here's your five golden rings and your partridge in a pear tree," the man said, handed these to him. Rooney tossed the rings back in the man's face. "I didn't order any of these damn things, you idiot!" he shouted.

"Well, we received an order from you at TwelveDaysofChristmas.com three months ago, and you sent in a notification last night," the man said. "You said in your e-mail that you wanted to give the school a huge surprise for Christmas."

"I didn't send any damn e-mail to your.stop pecking me!" Rooney swatted the partridge, sending it squawking down the hall.

"Here it is, if you don't believe me," the man handed Rooney a printout. The principal scanned it thoroughly. Sure enough, it was an order form registered in his name-signed three months ago. He cast a glance up at the school board, now gathered around him.

"It was Ferris," he said quickly, "I don't know how he did it, but I know he."

"Will you just leave Ferris Bueller alone!" snapped Florence the board member. "We're going back to our meeting, Ed. And now you've given us something more to talk about."

"Uh, no, no Florence, I think the budget was good enough to talk about for this session!" Rooney protested, understanding what she meant. The board shook their heads at him harshly and walked out. Rooney smacked his head against the ground in frustration. Ferris was going to pay for this.

"Well, look at the bright side Ed, at least." Carl began, but Rooney cut him off with a sharp, "Just shut up and clean the bathrooms, Carl!"

Up on the second floor, the Wet Bandits were busy breaking into lockers again. "Looks like at least twenty bucks in here," Marv said, helping himself to more money.

"Yep, they think they can." Harry started to agree with him, but then stopped. "Ya hear that Marv?" he asked, raising his hand for silence. Marv listened. "Sounds like an earthquake," he said in regards to the loud rumbling that sounded like it was just around the corner.

"Can't be an earthquake, Marv, there ain't no fault line here," Harry said. It was at that moment that both burglars saw what it was: the cattle stampede, and it was heading right at them. "Head for the hills!" Harry yelled, and both crooks took off running as fast as their legs could carry them.

"They're gaining on us!!" Marv cried.

"I know they're gaining; do ya think I'm blind!!" Harry snapped. They slipped as bit on a freshly polished floor and nearly lost their balance, but managed to righten themselves just in time. The library was just ahead; if they could reach it."

"Now I hear drums," Marv said, pointing ahead. At that moment, the twelve drummers drumming marched into the hall in front of them, blocking their path. The crooks exchanged worried glances. "Hide!" was Harry's quick response. Noticing an ajar locker nearby, he hastily dove inside over it and slammed the door-and had to slide back as the guillotine that had nearly gotten him the previous day nearly slashed him again.

Left alone in the hall, Marv took one look upward and jumped for the EXIT sign hanging from the ceiling just above him. He grabbed onto it and pulled himself up, but it wasn't high enough, as the leading bull reared up and drove its horns into his rear. Marv's shrill shriek of agony echoed like a peanut whistle all up the hall and shattered every piece of glass within fifty feet, merging in the end with the sounds of police sirens heading toward the school.