"Honestly, John, you're taking this all way too seriously," Mrs. Oaks told her husband as she slid into an armchair with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Too seriously!?" the mayor exclaimed, "Victoria, how can I take the disappearance of our daughter too seriously?"

"John, you've been on the phone with the chief all afternoon," his wife told him. "You need to let go for a little bit and relax."

"Mom's right, Dad," Zachary told his father, "it really doesn't matter if she comes back or not, so don't take it so seriously."

"Zachary, how can you say that about your own sister?" Mayor Oaks protested. He put his head in his hands. While the rest of the family seemed unconcerned about Chandra's whereabouts, the agony of it had been eating him up inside for the last four hours or so. As the Shermer police department had so far drawn a blank in finding her, he was starting to get very nervous.

He needed have worried that much though, for it was at that moment that the front door opened and Chandra came bounding in. "Sorry, I don't have time to stop and..." she blurted out as she darted for the stairs.

"Well, you've certainly kept us all in suspense!" her mother shouted at her. "Where have you been?"

"I was helping someone who needed somebody to talk to," Chandra explained, "and I'd better get back quickly, because I'm afraid he'll do something terrible to himself if he's left alone too long."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Mayor Oaks was still trying to take all this in, "You left school and got us all worried so you could be with somebody?"

"Yes," Chandra told him, "He was--he still is--rather broken up."

"Well, who is he? What's he like?"

"His name's Brian, and he's really smart, and he's really depressed because he lost some academic competition last night. He tried to kill himself this morning, and I'm afraid he's still bent on doing it, so I'm spending the night with him so he..."

"Oh no you're not, you're...!" her mother began screaming.

"Victoria, Victoria," Mayor Oaks waved her off. He was feeling rather positive about what he was hearing, as he had been hoping for somebody to come along for Chandra to befriend ever since they'd come to Shermer. "Does he seem to like you?" he asked his daughter.

"Well," Chandra grew a little somber, "to be honest, I am starting to like him, but I don't know if he likes me. I'm afraid I'm frightening him."

"Why not? You frighten everybody else," Zachary muttered under his breath.

Chandra ignored him. "I'm going to be eating over there, so..." she continued.

"Now wait just one minute, young lady!" Mrs. Oaks bellowed, "I'd say you're going to stay right here for the evening!"

"But Mom, you said a minute ago you didn't care if she came back or not," Tyler quipped.

"Tyler, go fix the table for dinner!" Mrs. Oaks jerked her finger toward the kitchen.

"But that's Zachary's job!" Tyler protested.

"DO IT!"

"Yes Mom," Tyler scurried off. "Now as I was saying," Mrs. Oaks continued with her daughter, "because you just walked out without telling us anything about where you went, you're grounded until New Year's Day!"

"Victoria, that's not...!" the mayor started to protest.

"JOHN, SHUT UP AND STAY OUT OF THIS!!!" his wife screamed at him.

"Yes Victoria," Mayor Oaks gulped, shrinking back in his chair.

"Now look Mom!" Chandra shouted suddenly, "for the last nine years of my life I've had absolutely nobody to talk to, and he hasn't shoved me away like everybody else! Now maybe he'll turn me away...!"

"What makes you think he wouldn't turn you away!?" her mother retorted.

"...but he still needs someone to talk to or he'll kill himself!" Chandra protested.

"If he wants to kill himself," Mrs. Oaks snapped, "then let him do it! The world's too overpopulated as it is!"

"You know what, Mom, I don't have to stand around here and listen to you rant and rave on how low you think life is!" Chandra turned and stormed up the stairs.

"Oh no, young lady, I'm not finished with you just...!"

"Where's the napkins?" Tyler called from the kitchen.

"Cabinet by the wall, top shelf," his father called to him. The mayor was still a bit taken in by everything that had come out in the last couple of minutes. He couldn't even remember the last time Chandra had been talking with someone her age. He hoped this Brian would be good for her.

"...one last time, if you leave this house, you're not coming back in it until next year starts!" his wife was screaming as she stomped back down the stairs after Chandra, who was carrying several articles of clothes in her arms.

"Good night, Mom!" Chandra said firmly and strode with resoluteness toward the front door.

"I hope he rapes your brains out!" Zachary shouted after his sister as the door slammed shut.

"Zachary, PLEASE!" Mayor Oaks said, but his voice was more pleading then angry.

There came a loud crash and breaking of glass from the kitchen. "YOU CLUMSY FOOL!" Mrs. Oaks snapped, striding into it. "Why can't you..."

Mayor Oaks put his hands over his ears, not wanting to listen to anymore arguing for now. He got up from his chair and walked briskly over to the front window. Gazing up the street, he could just make out Chandra "flying" around the corner of Elm Street down the block. "Hope you sleep better tonight, Chandra Alexandra," he said after her.

"Say Jim, where's the cole slaw?" Uncle Howard asked his son.

"Down at the other end of the table. Sara, could you give me the bowl there?"

Mr. Baker extended his arm to his youngest child. Next to him, Samantha dug into the nearby plate of mashed potatoes. If there was one thing she had always enjoyed about the holidays, it was the meals her family had always made. This one was no different.

"More ham, Ginny?" she offered her older sister.

"No thanks, Sam," Ginny shook her head. She shifted around slowly in her chair, hindered by the sheer size of her stomach with the baby almost due. Although Mr. Baker had almost killed her husband when he'd first learned he'd gotten his first child pregnant, he'd since warmed more to the idea he was becoming a grandfather, and had mapped out all the arrangements in getting her to the hospital when the blessed moment was to occur.

"You know, Miss Ginny," quipped Long Duk Dong from behind the enormous piece of turkey he wolfing down, "my grandmama Luk, she know ancient Chinese methods of easing pain during birth, so when she and other Long family fly in tomorrow, maybe she give to you secrets for your birthing."

"Well, thanks you, Dong, but I'm sure Ginny's quite capable of handling her baby on her own," said Uncle Fred.

"Oh, it not hurt," Dong said. "Grandmama Luk she have great knowledge of babies since she always, how you say, horny as hell."

"I'll bet," Mr. Baker said, looking a little uncomfortable. He turned to his wife. "Brenda, you said you'd pick up Dong's family?"

"Yes, that's me," she said, "I think we've gone over this arrangement at least four times already."

"Well I was just checking," Mr. Baker now turned to his son, who was picking unhappily at his meal. "So Mike, you never told us how your day went."

"It was fine," Mike told him. "Zachary got in trouble with the teacher for trashing her desk, and she made him sit in the corner all day."

"So that's where you get it all from," Samantha muttered under her breath. Mike wasn't the nicest of people, particularly toward herself and his other siblings.

"Hey I heard that, birth defect!" Mike kicked her under the table.

"Okay, okay you two, would you just..." Mr. Baker suddenly noticed Ginny clutching her chest. "Is it...I mean, is it?" he asked her nervously.

"...sharp pain..." was all Ginny could spit out. Mr. Baker leapt to his feet. "I think this is it!" he shouted, as if nobody could tell what was going on, "Get your coats, this is it! Brenda, call the hospital; Helen, get the wheelchair ready, Fred..."

"Wait, Dad,..." Ginny started waving her hands around.

"Not now, honey," Mr. Baker cut her off.

"Here's the wheelchair," Aunt Helen wheeled out the chair and took Ginny by the shoulder and pushed her down into it. "No, I don't really...!" she protested.

"Like I said last night it was for your comfort!" Mr. Baker began pushing her toward the front door. "Okay, where going to..."

"Dad, will you just..." it was at that moment that a loud eruption of gas was let loose. All the Bakers groaned and held their noses in disgust.

"False alarm," Mr. Baker said, waving the air.

"Yes, Dad, I think if Hunter were coming out, I'd be showing a lot more pain than I did right there," Ginny said, slowing getting to her feet, looking much miffed.

"Say, what's all that racket from across the way there?" Uncle Howard said, pointing to Del's house next door, "They're making a terrible racket for just five o'clock."

It was at this that snippets of conversation that Samantha had heard over the course of the day floated back to her: "Justin got grounded...Bender's stepping in...all night jamboree..." Now she realized exactly what those had pertained to...and if it was as she feared, it was going to be a long night. "It's Bender," she said out loud.

"Bender?" Aunt Dorothy looked puzzled, "Who's he?"

"He's the creep shacking up next door with Mr. Griffith, and I think he's having one of his infamous all-night bashes next door," Samantha explained. Although she'd never been to one herself, Jake had...and he'd told her that he'd found it a living hell.

"Hold my meal for me, I'm going to tell him to knock it off, or we'll never get any peace and quiet here tonight," she told the others, and walked outside before anybody could object. Storming over the hedge and up to Del's front door, she began pounding on it. "Open up, Bender, we've got to talk!" she shouted at it. There was no immediate reaction, and it was only after three more minutes of pounding that the door was answered...by a trashy redhead who looked already shot up on pills. "Can I help you?" she asked slurrily.

"Get me Bender right now!" Samantha demanded.

"Just a minute," the redhead disappeared. It was another two minutes before Bender appeared at the door. He looked quite perturbed. "What the hell do you want, Baker?" he spat at Samantha, "I'm really busy right now!"

"Well you can stop being busy, because I'm ordering you to stop this...debacle you call a party right now!" Samantha yelled at him. "There are decent people in this neighborhood who don't like to...!"

Bender gave a very bored yawn. "Look Baker, I don't have time for any of your personal problems, so if you'll excuse me."

He started to close the door. Furious, Samantha stuck her foot in the frame before he could. "Now listen Bender!" she shouted, "I have Mr. Griffith's cell phone number, and if you keep me up at all tonight, I'll...!"

"Go ahead and call him; he hasn't been back here since yesterday morning, so he's either dead or marooned in New York," Bender told her. "Now good night, and don't bother me again!"

He kicked Samantha's foot out of the way and slammed the door shut. Samantha kicked it frustration. "This isn't over yet Bender!" she shouted at it, "Mark my words, this is not over yet!"