"Okay, Prueller, rise and shine, it's time for a little visit to the principal's office!" Harry said, throwing open the side door of their van. "No escape this time, buddy boy!" Marv chimed in, taking hold of the chain around their prisoner's chest.

"Uh Marv," Harry said, taking his first really good look at the person they'd caught, "ain't this Swueller guy a bit big?"

"Ah, they all look big when you see 'em for the first time," Marv shrugged. "Come on, let's move on out!" he dragged the person into the school and down the hall to the principal's office. "Hi honey, I'm home!" he yelled as he barged into it. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Back so soon?" Grace said, looking up from her desk. She was busy pulling pencils out of her hair. "I thought it would take you two a lot longer to get back. Nobody gets near Ferris Bueller on the first time!"

"Whatdya.?" Harry was interrupted by Rooney coming out of his office. "What have you gentlemen got there?" he asked, noticing the covered person.

"Eddie, it gives us great pleasure to give you as a special Christmas present, the Mueller kid," Harry said. He unlocked the chain and pulled off the blanket to reveal Vernon.

"Ed, what is the meaning of this!!??" the superintendent demanded angrily. Rooney's face turned as red as his hair. "YOU IDIOTS!!" he yelled at the burglars, "Do you realize what you've just done!?"

Both crooks slowly turned to look at the enraged Vernon and let out loud, extended groans. "Uh, is this gonna come out of our pay, Eddie?" Marv asked sheepishly.

Rooney was at a loss for words for this. "Richard, may I just say that I was in no way responsible for these buffoons' assault on you," he said to his superior apologetically.

"Ed, may I speak to you in private?" Vernon said as calmly as he could.

"Certainly, certainly," Rooney said. He turned to the burglars. "You two sit down and don't say a word until I'm done!" he snarled, pointing at some chairs along the wall.

"Okay Eddie!" Harry hastily jumped into one. He motioned for Marv to do the same.

Rooney opened his office door wide. "Out!" he shouted to somebody inside, "I'll call your parents after I finish with this!"

"But for the last time Mr. Rooney, it wasn't my fault!" Claire protested as she walked backwards into the main office, "Somebody stole my jewelry first!"

"Do you really think I care!?" Rooney retorted, slamming the door behind Vernon. Claire groaned in frustration. "Do you believe this!?" she complained to everybody else in the office, "I shouldn't have to serve detention for doing something that somebody did to me first!"

"Oh, I know that song," Marv called after her as she stormed out of the office, "it happened to me all the time when I was growin' up!"

"But Marv, the other orphans didn't rob ya before ya robbed them," Harry pointed out.

"True, true, but they still had it comin'," Marv said, reclining back in his chair, looking somewhat nostalgic. "I have no idea how they always traced it back to me, though?"

"Neither do I," Harry said sarcastically. Marv was far and away the sloppiest crook he knew. No matter how well planned and executed a heist was, Marv always left evidence behind for the authorities, be it his fingerprints, his ID, or just his annoying habit of leaving the water running.

Rooney's office door opened again. "All right you two," Rooney addressed his employees sternly, "I'm reassigning you to hall duty. The only thing you have to do is walk up and down the halls and make sure nobody's breaking any rules. Do you understand me perfectly clear?"

"Yep," Harry nodded. He motioned for Marv to do the same.

"Good. Now get out of my sight!" Rooney jerked his finger toward the door.

"Well at least he took it well," Marv shrugged as he and his buddy left the office.

"You two are really off to a great start here," chuckled Carl from across the hall, where he was sweeping the floor.

"Listen bub, when I want your opinion, I'll ask ya for it!" Harry snapped at him.

Carl merely laughed at this and trudged further up the hall to continue his sweeping.

"So what's the matter with him?" Marv asked.

"Ah, he's probably retarded," Harry snorted.

"Well, Harry Lyme, it's been a long time since I've seen you!" called out a well-dressed man just down the hall in front of them. Harry recognized him at first glance. "Hey, Milo Essington, it has been a while!" he exclaimed, galloping over to the man and shaking his hand. "What brings you to this hellhole of society?"

"Well, Harry, I teach 10th grade geometry up on the third floor," Essington told him.

"Huh?" Harry looked rather surprised at this, "You, the Terror of Room 201, a teacher?"

"Yes," Essington said. "I had some time to think things over in juvenile after Jason Hill's parents had me arrested for beating him bloody shortly after you got expelled, and I realized my life was going nowhere, so I decided to start over with teaching. And believe it or not, I'm actually enjoying it. Plus it's good money too. I'm surprised to see you here, though."

"Oh, uh, I'm the new truant guy here, believe it or else," Harry told him. Noticing that Marv was looking over his shoulder at his old acquaintance, he added, "And this is my associate Marv Murchens."

"Pleasure to meet you, Milo," Marv said, giving Essington's hand an overly vigorous pumping, "It's always an honor to meet one of Harry's friends, especially considering he didn't have many."

"I don't remember ever seeing you before," Essington noted.

"No, I met Harry when we was eighteen, remember that Harry?" Marv asked his pal. Harry waved him off, not willing to bring up their first meeting in a public place.

"Well, Harry, I'd like to stay and chat, but I've got class in five minutes," Essington said, checking his watch. "How about we meet in the coffee lounge after school so we can catch up on old times? I'd especially like to know why you and your friend here always end up getting arrested each Christmas Eve and end up looking like you've been through a war."

"The papers are all liars!" Marv retorted. "Them damn reporters made up those stories and pictures so they could get rich off us! The kid."

Harry elbowed him in the ribs before he could finish. "We agreed it was too embarrassin', remember?" he muttered.

"Oh yeah, right," Marv remembered.

"You two trying to cover something up?" Essington asked them, looking as if he somehow knew what was running through their minds.

"No, no, nothin'," Harry said quickly. "See ya after the day's over, Milo."

"Have a nice one, Harry," Essington called to him as he turned the corner toward the stairs.

"Well Marv, it's a sad world where someone like Milo Essington can go good," Harry asided to his partner.

"You knew that guy well?" Marv asked him.

"Yeah, he and I was close buddies when we was in grade school," Harry explained. "We ran a small-time extortion racket in the bathrooms, where we took the dough of everybody who shared our time there with us in exchange for them not gettin' beaten up. We made a good bundle until we stayed too long the one time and the teach came in to find us holdin' this one kid's head under the toilet to get him to pay up. We lost our bathroom privileges, and my old man nearly beat my nose off when he got the note about it. I can tell you."

Just then there came a loud smashing sound from one of the nearby computer rooms. Harry smiled. "I think we're gonna get back it Eddie's good graces, Marv," he said with great cheeriness. "Let's take 'em down."

They strode over to the door to the computer room the noises were coming from. Peering in, they saw Andrew smashing away at several of the computers with one of his crutches. Next to him, Allison was trying to apparently talk some reason into him. The burglars exchanged gleeful glances, and then raised their legs high and kicked open the door. "Okay, caught ya in the act!" Harry yelled like a conquering hero at them. Andrew took one look at them and groaned in frustration. "Look, I'm sorry, but." the wrestler tried to say, but Harry wasn't about to let him finish. "Let's go, both of ya!" he snickered, waving toward the door.

"No, Allison didn't do anything, it was just me!" Andrew protested. Allison remained silent at this point, looking resigned to whatever fate awaited them in the principal's office.

"Move on out!" Harry took hold of Andrew's right crutch and half dragged him down the hall, obviously not concerned with his broken leg. "Hey Eddie, I found these two wreckin' the computers!" he yelled as he barged into the office.

Rooney, who had been carrying on a heated discussion with Grace at her desk, looked up to see the crooks enter with their captures. "Are you absolutely sure?" he asked, looking like he really didn't trust them.

"Do ya really think our eyes'd betray us, Eddie?" Marv asked as he herded Allison into the office in front of him. Rooney looked as if his answer to this would be yes, but he instead he put on his stern face and said to the teens, "Well, Mr. Clark, Miss Reynolds, destroying school property, are we?"

"I swear, Mr. Rooney, Allison is completely innocent!" Andrew screamed at him, "I was the only one doing it!"

"They was both in there Eddie," Harry quipped, "You ain't gonna let one off for the other's sake, are ya?"

"Of course I'm not, Mr. Lyme," Rooney said, a wicked smile appearing on his face, as if he'd just stewed Ferris alive. He turned to his secretary.

"Grace, call Sharpton Construction and ask for Clarence Clark. Tell him he's wanted here right away."

"Sure thing, Ed," Grace said. "Do you know the number?"

"Rooney howled in frustration. "That's your job!" he shouted at her.

"You're supposed to have a list of student names ready at all times in case something comes up. I thought we made that perfectly clear at the last PTA meeting!"

"Well Ed, you and Mr. Vernon went on and on that night, it was hard to make anything out you said," Grace admitted.

Rooney rolled his eyes. "Never mind, I'll call him!" he growled. "I swear, Grace, if you left your brain at home any more often than you do, you'd be a legal nutball!"

"Oh my brain's never at home Ed, it's always right inside my skull," Grace pointed to her forehead. Rooney made a gesture of frustration with his arms.

"You two sit!" he shouted at the teens, before turning to the burglars, "and you two can go back to your business!"

"Right, see ya later, Eddie," Harry said. He and Marv quickly shuffled out of the office. Grace stared after them. "Wonder what was with them?" she asked out loud.

"Why didn't you say anything to defend yourself?" Andrew asked Allison as they sat down.

"One, this is Mr. Rooney, no use saying anything against him," Allison told him, "and two, I don't really care. Detention's better than sitting at home for hours on end and being ignored. You know, this year my father isn't even coming over. And at least we'll be."

"Hey, where's my wallet?" Andrew suddenly gasped out loud.

"Wherever you left it last," Allison said, almost a little confused at what all the fuss was about.

"No, it was here just a minute ago!" Andrew searched through his pockets, but there was no sign of the wallet. Had he bothered to look backwards out the window, however, he would have noticed the Wet Bandits casually leafing through it, counting his money.

"Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven. Thirty-seven bucks," Harry counted out loud. "Didn't I tell ya this would be a great job to take, Marv?"

"Well Harry, when you're right, you're right, and you, you're always right," Marv beamed.

"Exactly," Harry said with a very wide smile. He stuffed Andrew's money into his coat pocket and tossed the wallet into a nearby garbage can. "Okay, let's go check out the goods on the third floor. We ain't been there yet."